SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

On the phone with H at work. He suddenly said "oh my god whyyyyy"

So if anyone remembers the AP still worked at the same company as my H. I chose not to make him leave because it would have hurt ME to struggle financially etc.

Anyway, H has a new route and guess who the fuck showed up with a different company today? Yeah, the AP.

What are the chances?? Why? I mean he immediately told me and he seems really disturbed.

So I got my wish, she left HIS company but now works for a different company in the same type of work AND she has the same location as my H.

How do we even handle this? I mean obviously just ignore but this is just awful.

Do you believe in coincidence? It's possible she made this happen. If this is a problem then tell him you need him to get switched to another route/location.

We have no idea when she left the company! It was definitely within the last 12 months as she popped her ugly face up on a zoom meeting because she saw my husband was on and accidentally turned his camera on. I mean she would have had to have someone from husbands company tell her his new route, then somehow finagle that for herself with a totally different company. It sounds a bit far fetched even for my conspiratorial mind. I mean it’s possible but she’s never tried to contact him or reach out directly or anything.

I do not believe in coincidence.

IMHO - he needs to talk to his manager/HR ASAP to get another route.

Kudos to him for being honest with you and not hiding this.

I mean if she wanted contact with him she had 7 years to do so. Many ways she could have inserted herself into his work space. I think it’s bad luck but also maybe it’s a time for me to learn to let shit go? Getting another route is out of the question at the moment as they were just reengineered. I kinda hope it makes my H uncomfortable honestly. I don’t want to keep punishing him but sometimes he needs a little nudge to remember and actually feel how much I’ve been through for him.

I’m anticipating me having a bad day and accusing him of meeting up with her but maybe this will push me towards not giving a fuck about her ugly ass. He was extremely flustered and disturbed when he saw her.

It’s a totally different company. It’s just really unfortunate. I mean she could have been at other locations he has serviced and he never saw her I mean it’s quite possible today was an aberration.

OW in my case literally stalked us in town and online for at least two years before she then made a big show of appearing with a new BF and lots of PDA….where she knew we’d be. Evidently, to let us know that she’d moved on.
It was a once or twice a week run in. It’s a small town. We had to formulate a plan on what we would do when these run ins happened. We couldn’t move towns. We had a plan to check in with each other and pull together. Sometimes, when we ran into her as a couple…like in a restaurant, we’d decide to leave. I didn’t want avoiding places in order to avoid her to rule my life….particularly since she was so dead set on invading my space. Yes, I consulted an attorney. There was really nothing that could be done. She just showed up, didn’t interact with me. Thankfully, now, OW has faded from the constant run ins. He ran into her once or twice on his own. When he did, he’d relay to me that he just felt disgusted that he had the A and with her. She followed me everywhere, it felt like. It was a double betrayal in my case. She was a "friend".

In those runs ins, if we were together we’d do this in person….if either of us was alone…we’d call each other and check in….and he’d ask ME what I needed, if I was OK. We made a plan to connect somehow physically…PDA ourselves, embrace/kiss. One, because it was grounding for me….and two…see OW you didn’t win. If we were apart, he’d meet me asap and we’d connect.

There is no doubt in my mind that the AP made this happen. Does FWH need to change routes? What do you need him to do to help create safety for you. And, good for him for immediately let you know. Those run ins are absolutely the worst.